how jacked up am I

So woke up. I had a good time in all my classes, I even played pool with Davey. i had to inpercinate as peter today so he could go try to add another class. Badminton seem okay, not to tough but i don't like how he explained the lockers. Plus he was hitting on the girls so davey and I were like... "what the heck?". oh well. then after school we went to buy pizza and drop a friend home. we then went to pick up nang and eric at oak grove. dropped nang at home, drove eric to our house. hung out for like 2 or 3 hours. they played teken 6 and I ate like no tomorrow. when they were done, they decided to play yu-gi-oh so i played naruto on the ps3. first off, Naruto ninja storm is the best naruto game out there right now. Its like live and the graphics are far better than the psp, ds or whatever. should try it out. eric left and I started homework.

kristine and I got into another arguement. Im very disappointed in myself and i made her cry again today. I feel like shit when I make her cry. thats not supposed to happen. Im supposed to make her happy, be understand, be that person she needs. she had such a good day and I freaken screwed it up. sigh. she even blogged it all out cause she really really loved it. after our argument she erased it, hid it, idk, but its gone now. sigh. i screwed up again. why cant i do anything right? it pisses me off when I fail others. kristine is by far above from everyone else and I failed her again. thats even worse. sigh. I tried making it right. not sure if it was resolved. we didn't even resolve yesterday yet, and I think i forgot what it was about. sigh. i suck and I know that for a fact.

thing i liked about today? classes, my 10 minute nap in the car while peter went to get nang and eric, the costco pizza and pool with davey.

sorry I hurt you sweetie, i suck. I love you more than anything and i shouldnt have thought negative things. i know you dont want me to apologize to you cause i do it alot but i have my fault and I wanna make it right. its just how I deal with things. thank you for understanding me, its sad that I couldn't do the same for you sigh. im very disappointed in myself as well. I always wanna do better for you, treat you better, be fair, think positive. I haven't hung out with you in so long i feel like so lonely and unloved. i know you're trying your best so i don't wanna add any pressure. im tempted to but deep down i just want you to be happy, stress free, just straight up free. i want you to be free. sorry for being a jerk.