sunday before school

Omgoshhh yesterday -______- stupid stupid stupid. I was going to sleep and like I usually pass out real fast if i don't think about anything. But yesterday, I wanted to try it out yah know..see if i was right or not. as I crawled into bed I started thinking about how far Kristine and I have gotten. I thought about all the fun time we had and of course that led me to think about the bad things. I then side tracked and thought about other things like how im doing in school, when am I gonna get better. And then I started thinking about kristine's butt -_____- don't ask me why, but I did think about it. thoughts like -i like her butt- came to my mind. please don't ask me any questions about this. I'm just stating the truth about what I was thinking. then I went back to thinking about how she was gonna make it out of this with as little pain as possible. i can't really come between them or anything. I have no right to do so I'm practically immobilized. So, i plan to be the open ear person, try to be the person that is there for her when no one else is. that doesn't mean I'll agree to everything she says, in order to be true i can't lie to her. I'll say what I thought would be correct and give my reasons. I do this sometimes and she usually yells and gets angry. Anyways back to the point of yesterday. I thought about things and couldn't sleep for like 2 hours -______- I laid and turned trying to sleep but I just couldn't. i finally passed out at 2-3am :/ I didn't get much sleep though, I found out I woke up at like 9 ish and I was like -wth- -_______- I never wake up this early -fake tears- I got up and washed my black clothing and turned on movies. These movies I bought from LA and when i got home they didn't work on our dvd. I tried putting it into the ps3 and it worked so I was pretty much hooked. I watched like 3 movies. "red cliff" "butterfly lovers" and some assassin movie. the butterfly lovers reminded me of romeo and juliet except they were asians hahaha. when It was almost 4 I drove mom to church. I was coughing through out church. when it was over mom wanted to buy some food that the church was selling to support the church. we then drove to costco to refill the gas. It was really packed and the guy in front of me was doing it so slow -_____- we got gas then headed to marina market to buy some ingredients. we bought oranges cause I wanted them, mom got bananas, some veggies, "mang" don't know what its called in english. I got extra crackers (the straw like things but strawberry flavored =]) and peace tea. hahaha. this will be the second one I drank. I just bought it cause I thought it was a funny title for a drink. i'm try to collect them hahaha. afterwards we went home, carried stuff in unpacked the food. mom was cooking dinner, dad was on the sofa so i went upstairs and started counting my piggy bank money that I told christina i was gonna donate to her to help Haiti. I didn't wanna do it cause I was hella tired and sick but i did it anyways. I counted around $30.

me: wow

thirty dollars. at first I didn't think about anything just that -hey, I saved $30 in coins, cool- I cant lie I really wanted to keep the money, I started to think I could do alot with $30. that's like 6 movies at wallmart hahaha. But then it occurred to me...I was being so selfish. People are suffering and don't have a home to stay, a place to bathe and here I am with 30 dollars and wanted to buy 6 movies. I felt really bad, but I really didn't want to give it all away. I then thought about supplies that I needed to buy to make the my next anniversary with kristine really nice. I think $10 was all I really needed so I took $10 in quarters and put the $20 back into the plastic cup. $20 is alot though and Im quite happy that all of that was just from saving my change, the original way. =] I urge you to do the same. to motivate you, I'll tell you about my high school saving. I kept a piggy bank when I first went to high school. It had no hole at the bottom so whatever i put in is that, I wont get it back. I decide that I'll open it when I graduated and came up with like 96-98 dollars. crazy huh. hahaha. though peter quickly spent my saving just like that -_____- excuse: we had to pay for parking. if he gotten a parking permit which we did anyway, I would of had my 96 dollars sigh. whatever, its in the past i don't wanna think about it anymore. where was i, I counted money...then went down for dinner. we ate noodles, egg noodles. it was alright. I like egg noodle, but maybe not the other stuff she puts in it hahaha. but I ate it all none the less. after I ate, I grabbed my washed clothes from the morning and brought it upstairs. folded them and piled them up by my bed. too sick to actually hang em and put them in the right spots. I took out my homework and remembered to check my email to see if my teacher responded to my email about late signing up for "course compass" she told me to do it asap and thanked me for telling her. I filled in the information online and asked my dad to pay with his credit card. he told me to get a text book instead. I told him the e-book is more efficient I could just click to the next page of the text book. he told me to get the textbook cause he doesn't want me to ruin my eyes from staring at the computer too long. Me: ...uhh..theres no space to open my text book by the computer to actually do my homework. Him: pull up one of those wheel chairs and make em higher, then put your text book on it and do it. first of all, that is very ghetto, (sorry, it really is) second, the chair has wheels and no brakes at the bottom so it will shift no matter what cause Im putting pressure on it, three, the chair ain't that big. its small as hell, and I think just the textbook alone will already cover up the whole seat. sigh. I told him that the textbook will be more expensive and he said he'll pay for it. me: -this is hella inconvenience for me) whatever, I'll just do as he says before he gets pissed and starts yellin. He really has a drinking problem though. he says it helps him sleep -____- does he need one like every single day? what the? lately he's been drinking more and more. there are cans, jars in the beer boxes :/ watch one day, he's gonna have kidney failure and he's gonna ask me to give up one of my kidneys -_____- sigh. If that ever happens, I'll make sure he tries every donation place before using mine. I really don't wanna lose a kidney though -___- not while I'm alive at least, so he better cut back on the beer. sigh. well he basically wasted my time filling out the information for it online. now i gotta go to school and check how much the book cost. actually i know how much it cost I'll tell him later. I checked fb and responded to kristine. =] she knows I care ^_____^ love you