sigh. i guess I should start with morning huh. woke up. tet show was today. I dress up and was excited. I went downstairs hoping to find food that I actually want to stick into my mouth. found nothing. my body rejected everything I looked at. sigh. the feelings like you're hungry but you just cant eat -disappointment look- I then drove mom and me to walmart. I went to the photo section and ordered alot of photos 100+, mom went to bank of America to do some stuff. afterwards I drove to spc. I finally got there early. first time since the school year started. anyways I helped out Sophia for a bit and then just chill. the show itself was alright. I mean its tet come on, am I supposed to look at it as a negative way? wth is this? I thought it was a good show, funny, and memories. afterwards, pizza and gambling. i was able to eat pizza thank god -___- anyways mom came. I drove to Costco refilled gas, went to market I slept in the car she bought food. drove home. worst parking i ever did sigh. watched k-drama Cinderella man. yoona from snsd is in it. I looked up snsd -____- sad but I did. I have to say out of all the girls I would choose yoona. besides that I ate rice with shredded chicken and now I'm here. I haven't done homework and its my baby cousin's birthday tomorrow so I have no time. freak.. on top of that. I really really....really don't like how kristine and I have been lately. I just really dislike how we've spent the last couple of months. the only thing that's making me happy right of this minute...is Japanese :/ sigh, that's freaken sad. oh! I just remembered my dad compared peter and I to him again today. freaken pisses me off. I mean he brags about how well he did in high school and in college and these "A's" that he got. I mean, way to go raising your kids by comparing them to yourself. -____- freaken pointless. lets get one thing straight, I am Joseph Quang Nguyen, I ain't no straight A student like my father was OKAY! i really wanna chuck something, punch something, even scream! but I cant. fuck, life is so complicated. why cant they just encourage how I live my life cause that's all I really want. I ain't looking for straight A, B's are just fine with me. I know doing "good" in school is crucial but I know I'm not capable of those A's yet he still annoys me with them. I just want to live a freaken normal, content and happy life. more would be nice, but that's not I'm looking for. I'm looking for support from my parents and they have a funny way of showing that to me. I know I should be thankful and I am thankful but its sad that they aren't supporting who I am. you'd think someone that raised you for 18 years would know a simple thing or two about how I want to be treated. maybe its cause they're old fashion Asians. sigh.
but seriously, I know you're reading this. duh I gave you the link -____- I really don't like how things are going between us. If we can't see each other at least talk to me. I'm getting tired of putting myself on the front line and reaching out to talk to you. Unless, you're busy 24/7 it'd be nice to actually have a conversation. these short I'm and text are just leaving me hanging. how long has it been? one month? two months? I lost track but, point is I don't think we talked about anything...I mean about a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g at all. then again, its fine with me if you don't wanna talk. I could just not contact you at all. I mean you're busy always anyways, right? I'm probably a selfish jerk right now huh. there's just a lack of communicating between us. you tell me a problem but you don't keep me inform about anything. I don't know what your issues are. when you do tell me, its like its out of nowhere. I don't even know what to say anymore. I know you're trying but you're seriously not letting me in right now. I know nothing about the current you. everything I know about you right now seems like its from last year. hey, maybe you're the same girl, maybe you're different now. the truth is I don't really know who you are anymore. like it or not, you've stopped talking to me. its sad actually. I'm sorry if i hurt you but this is what bothered me and unlike you, I shared it. I'm not giving up on you or anything, i just want you to be more open, tell me every detail instead of assuming I understand what you mean. I just really don't like how our relationship is right now. I really want to improve us. I might be using the wrong words. I really don't want to make you cry, i hate it when I do so please don't cry. sigh.
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